Dumb Information

DI Hall of Fame

Your beloved DI staff (truth be told just me), after much deliberation, has picked the next class of inductees for the exclusive DI Hall of Fame. All right, I used my DI presidential authority in this induction process, so the blame is all mine if it goes south. These few individuals have over the years received a bad rap from most of the homophobic populace due to their sexual orientation, or hint at sexual orientation, or the fact that they based their entire careers off of “assisting men that are comfortable with their own sexuality to get in women’s pants faster” kind of music. As I may not personally agree with what some of them do on their own time, I do have the upmost respect for their professional careers, which has produced some of the greatest music our generation will ever have the privilege of listening to. No matter what they do behind closed doors at night, what they have done for the music industry is warrant enough for induction into our HOF.

Barry Manilow – duel entry, as Barry is famous on two different playing fields. First and foremost, Mr. Manilow the singer/songwriter/musician/kick ass entertainer performed greats such as Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head, Cant Help Falling in Love, Cant Take my Eyes off You, and remade the Righteous Brothers You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’, just another reason that made Top Gun an all time great candidate. Joined the ranks of Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson, and Johnny Mathis as the only entertainers to have five, count em five, albums on the best selling charts at the same time. Manilow also assisted in the clean up of Hurricane Katrina , matching dollar for dollar his fans donations to the American Red Cross. Once pissed off Donald Trump, skipping on an event and keeping the front money for nearly a month, which shows that this dude isn’t scared of much. Next, Barry Manilow also starred in the hit movie Road Trip a hilarious comedy about all kinds of dumb crap. Barry got bit in the hand by a boa constrictor, grabbed his bum several times on camera, and made out with a freakishly hot red head near the closing credits. Barry/Barry, welcome to the Hall of Fame.

Elton John – arguably the greatest performer of all time, definitely in the same league as the likes of Michael Jackson, David Lee Roth & Tom Hanks, John has tuned his vocal chords in order to make the sweet sounds of instant classics (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Bennie and the Jets, Rocket Man, Candle in the Wind, Daniel, I Guess That’s Why They call it the Blues, I’m Still Standing, Honky Cat, Tiny Dancer, Someone Saved my Life Tonight, we could go on all night); assisted in the writing portion for the songs in the ’94 kids classic The Lion King (honestly, how many of you heard or knew what Hakuna Matata meant before Mr. John gave you that sample). This is not the first HOF nod for Elton, as he is a deserving member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame. John also established the Elton John AIDS Foundation, pumping in a considerable amount of his own dough to assist in the worldwide fight of the deadly disease. And last but certainly not least, you must address him by the title Sir , as John was knighted by the monarch of England showing his true kickassness.

Neil Diamond – chosen for not only his superior vocals and performance characteristics, but he is also the reason for a pretty good flick in Saving Silverman, a movie about three grown men infatuated with the legendary singer/performer/kick ass entertainer. Provided the introduction for Elton John’s first American soil concert, one of the other inductees. Personally looks like he could hold his own in a bar fight, making him the man of this induction class. Inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in ’84, which may be a little more special than this one, but we wont hold that against him. His music is responsible for such great things as the theme song for the Red Sox Nation (even though he cheers for the wrong New York City baseball team, go Mets), soundtrack additions to “one of the greatest kick ass movies ever” Pulp Fiction, and inspired UB 40 to actually create something that would stick in Red Red Wine. Absolute classics such as Sweet Caroline, Oh Mary, and Evermore are just a taste of what Mr. Diamond in the rough of the music industry gave to us.

While these men do not possess qualities such as Chuck Norris or Rambo, they have displayed such qualities deserving the ultimate recognition, the introduction into the DI HOF. Welcome, and enjoy the company.

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