Dumb Information

OH CRAP! That Causes Cancer?!

Posted in Conspiracy, death, Health, Medical, Men by Chop on 9 February 2009

Masturbation causes prostate cancer, Mary Jane causes testicular cancer.

Two recently released studies have shown that both masturbation and marijuana can either speed up or directly cause different forms of cancer. Face it DI Pride, I wont be writing for much longer. Thanks for the memories.

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The Blue Brothers

Posted in Asia, diet, Health, Japan, Medical, Mongolia, Sport by Chop on 6 February 2009

I ran across another article in regards to a Mary Jane
controversy rocking the Sumo world, this time involving a
soil born Japanese wrestler.

Desperately wanting to come up with yet another hilarious article, my mind
wandered for a few until it hit me, what the hell is Sumo wrestling actually?

I know, a bunch of big men rubbing
wings
in a ring of fire,
but there had to be much more to it, so I began researching.

I immediately ran across the Dolgorsurengiin clan, a group of three
brothers kickin’ ass and taking names across the entire
Eastern Asian region.

From the Blue Wolf to the Blue Dragon, DI will take you on a short journey
into the lives of the real life Blues Brothers.

Dolgorsurengiin Sumiyaabazar, Dolgorsurengiin Serjbudee, and Dolgorsurengiin
Dagvadorj, all Mongolian born and bread, have separately made the family
name a common household word, yet hard as hell to pronounce unless you
are of course Mongolian.

Sumiyaabazar,
the oldest of the Dolgorsurengiin clan, is a high ranking skilled
Mongolian wrestler, proving his worth in the ring of death on several occasions.

Aptly named Blue Steel for this article alone (his other two brothers
use Blue in their nicknames, yet this man is bad enough to
walk around without one), Sum took the Mongolian
wrestling circuit by storm in 2006, snagging the title of Grand Champion from
a field of 1,024 wrestlers.

He had previously finished that tournament in second place four other
times, showing that he can handle himself with the likes of any other.

Mongolian wrestling matches, unlike Sumo, take place in an open field, and
puts sheer strength
to the test, as wrestlers must make their opponents upper body or
elbow come in contact with the ground.

Also, fortunately for my stomach, they do not use G-Strings, as they have
conformed to the much more conservative Speedo look.

Thumbing through pics of the sport, Mongolian wrestlers also differ from
their Japanese counterparts because they look like
Arnold Schwarzenegger on steroids (again).

Serjbudee,
the middle of the road brother, left the life of Mongolian wrestling to make
his professional wrestling debut in Japan in 2001, making him the first from
the Mongolian wrestling circuit to join New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Using the ring name Blue Wolf, Serj proved very early that he was a force
to be reckoned with.

With signature moves such as the Mongol Hammer & Mongol Slam, making even
Bill Goldberg wet his drawers.

Serj also dabbled in the world of Mixed Martial Arts,
making minced meat of Tom Howard in his May 2004 debut.

He has since slipped back into a quiet life, possibly in his home country of Mongolia.

Dag,
the baby of the bunch and by far most successful, sports the competitive
name of Asashoryu in the Japanese Sumo wrestling world.

Haling from Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, he is already arguably the greatest
Yokozuna ever, a title reserved for the best of the
best that the sport has to offer.

Only 68 other Sumo wrestlers have had the privilege of putting that title
anywhere around their name legally.

He became the first Mongolian to bestow the term Yokozuna in 2003.

At only 28 years of age, his accomplishments are phenomenal to say the least.

Asashoryu brings with him a 598-153-76 career record, 23 grand tournament
victories (five flawless tournament victories with a 15-0 record, two of
them consecutively) putting him on the all time wins list at fourth,
seven consecutive tournament wins, an impressive 84-6 bout record in one fiscal
year (man, if only our mortgage industry could do that), and the Tiger Woods
of Sumo accomplishment of the Grand Slam,
taking by force all six tournaments in one calendar year in 2005.

Tournament record of 15-3 (11-1 during the ’04 & ’05 campaigns) over the
course of a three year period from 2004-2006, bowing out of one of them due
to an injury, and since November of 2002, has an impressive record of 23-15 in
the grand tournaments, with two of the losses coming from a suspension,
and two others due to injuries.

Asashoryu, nicknamed the Blue Dragon, garnished outstanding performances
in the grand tournament three times along with three additional
fighting spirit sticks.

He won his first top division title in just 23 tournaments, matching the
fastest ever to win that title.

He began his career at a very light weight when it comes to the professional
world of men’s thongs, making his career accomplishments even more impressive.

A family tradition that would even make Ghengis Khan
proud to be a Mongolian, these are the real life Blues Brothers that are the
Dolgorsurengiin clan.

So, get out and learn something new for yourself, there is so much
interesting dumb information in the world.

Turn off the T.V. and pick up a book,
or surf the internet using the unbelievable world of Wikipedia or
Dumb Information,
you just may be pleasantly surprised.

From Microsoft to Malaria

Posted in Africa, disease, Hall of Fame, Health, Mainstream Media, Medical, Welfare by Chop on 5 February 2009

Bill Gates, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and Microsoft co-founder, now has something else to add to his absolutely brilliant resume; the ability to get rid of mind numbing reporters quicker than any politician in the history of the modern Media.

Gates let loose a swarm of mosquitoes, unfortunately not the deadly kind found in the heart of the African continent, during a conference in Long Beach, California.

His point to the madness was to bring a heightened awareness to the deadly disease malaria, mostly uncontrollable in third world countries and most countries in Africa.

“I brought some.¬† Here, Ill let them roam around.

There is no reason only poor people should be infected,” a Yahoo news report quoted him as saying.

“There is more money put into baldness drugs than into malaria,” Gates
quipped, triggering laughter.

“Now, baldness is a terrible thing and rich men are afflicted.

That is why that priority has been set,” continued the Yahoo report.

Gates co-founded Microsoft Corporation with Paul Allen in 1975, eventually taking over the entire company after and fight with Hodgkin’s¬†disease forced Allen out.

During his Microsoft CEO run, Gates obtained the honor of being tagged the worlds richest man for an astounding 15 consecutive years.

Gates bowed out of full time work with Microsoft in 2006 to devote more time to his own Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, assisting worldwide to fight extreme poverty and to enhance much needed healthcare.

Bill, I have about $3.28 in my pocket, but fortunately have the power of the pen, or in this case the keyboard.

DI plans to join in this fight to eradicate this and many other diseases worldwide.

With hope comes a better future for all of us.