Dumb Information

Dumb Information Nation Revolution

A recent Huffington Post article reveals a churning in the waters of America, a possible Wingnut Revolution in the making as super rich citizens are irate at the new political situation. Doomsday scenarios explained as to who and how the takeover is spelled out, as what is going on in Washington is not the answer. Huffington Post did not receive the memo, put out world wide April 11th 2008; it’s not the Wingnut Revolution, it’s the Dumb Information Nation.
This time, individuals from all parties will unite in the fight against stupidity and greed, the fight to rid the world of hatred and incompetence; it’s not a one sided bashing whether Republican, Democrat, or Independent. The simple thought process that maybe not benefiting me as an individual, it will benefit the masses that stand before and around me.
We do not have to agree on everything out there, but we do have to live together, and no matter who was behind the collapse of this nation, we are all in it together, win or lose (I for one am in it to win it, no matter who I call my Commander-in-Chief, because after all, if I win it, I win it). The recession is not discriminating while washing over the lower and middle class, it chooses no sides. I am not going to lose sleep or divert focus because the gentlemen down the street believes that all criminals regardless of the offense should die of natural causes; there is bigger and more dire concerns at hand.
Simple yet effective thoughts and ideas will get us through the toughest of times, the KISS method if you will.
Keep It Simple Stupid, because all of you have to agree, sometimes ignorance is bliss

Put a Sock in it America

I am sick and tired of hearing all the problems with Obama, Bush, the Democrats, the Republicans, and any other politician that has walked the hallowed grounds of this nation. Mud is flying at a phenomenal rate in regards to the new Obama four year term, just as it flew during an eight year Bush stint at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Die hard elephants are attacking Obama on everything from the stimulus package to leaving the seat down while urinating, and most completely lock their thought patterns up when debates start in respect to how his presidency has started.
Die hard jackasses are still attacking Bush and Cheney for their eight year tenure in the White House, and when ideas are exchanged about why they did some of the things that they did, they lock up all thought processes quicker than a bowel movement after eating spicy curry with coffee on a hot summer day.
Republicans secretly despise Democrats, and Democrats loathe Republicans behind closed doors. This has gone on since the dawn of democracy in America, since the split of all parties, and since men were given the ability to think for themselves with a little assistance from the mass media.
Backyard barbecues and middle of the day water cooler discussions have created fight after fight on whose party has the best and smartest candidate, and whose party is the savior of the country.
Now, after the force feeding of the nearly $1 Trillion stimulus package, Obama and his followers are working on yet another stimulus package to try and inject some sort of life into this breathless country. Every under the radar website and media outlet is slamming him for his super duper top secret spending plans, and throwing him under any and every bus they see because he is doing exactly what he said he would before he was elected.
I pounded the pavement to get the first hand taste in the mouths of the masses, with astounding results.
“Honestly, I am tired of listening to all the crap about all of this. I don’t even want to turn on T.V. or the internet for fear of seeing something else negative about America,” stated one individual. (All names have been omitted to protect the innocent and weak)
“Obama has yet to show me he knows how to run a country. He has slammed through a huge stimulus package without letting the public see what was in it,” claimed another bystander very eager to voice his distaste with the newly elected President.
“He closed Gitmo without even looking at who was in it, where are all of those criminals going to go now,” asked yet another.
“He is the savior of the country, he will do things to help us all,” claimed another, but when asked what things, could not come up with any.
Before I go into my views on this controversial subject, let’s look at the facts.
Obama stated in his campaign that he would push through a massive stimulus package after taking oath; he did.
Obama promised to close Guantanamo Bay, Cuba while beating the trail for President; he has.
He has moved swiftly to try and solve the nations most critical issues, love him or hate him, those are facts.
Some staunch Republicans are now claiming issues with his character, but can not come up with any concrete evidence of wrongdoing yet. Researching the true meaning of character, I found that Wikipedia states “attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits.”
Here are my thoughts reader, love them or hate them.
Obama has done what he said he would during his campaign, whether or not we like it. His massive spending package is the largest of all time, but took even larger balls and intestinal fortitude to make it happen. I don’t personally agree with some of the inserts of the package, but it’s not my country, it’s our country.
He has ordered the closure of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, just like he said he would. Prisoners are being released either due to lack of hard evidence or no evidence of wrong doing at all, which is something that is backed in our U.S. Constitution, words that are thrown around only out of convenience to the situation at hand. No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law, as stated in the law of the land. Hardened criminals in Gitmo that have lengthy lists of wrongdoings will be transferred somewhere else, not given a pardon. It’s a change in venue for those who need to stay behind bars, that’s it; but because Obama declared it, it’s a problem.
Because Bush started it at Gitmo, it was a problem. The Donkeys hated Bush with everything they had, so no matter what decision he made, it was the wrong one. The Elephants hate Obama with everything they have, so every decision he makes will be the wrong one.
Hatred is a disease, and that disease has spread faster than the likes of AIDS and cancer combined. It is a highly contagious disease, and affects human brain functions. It allows people to judge others based on such things as skin color, what kind of clothes they wear, and what they eat for breakfast. Hatred is a disease that could wipe out mankind, due to differences that are very minute when it comes to importance based on what is going on around us. We can agree to disagree on every issue in the world, but must find a common thread that will allow us to continue as a civilized planet.
I don’t agree with most of the things that Obama is trying, but at least he is trying something. He is not sitting back and hoping for the best, he is attacking to try and fix a half century of wrong that we have done to ourselves. He has the courage to bet his second term on the stimulus that he pushed for, which shows as much for character as anything else; intestinal fortitude, strength, courage, honesty. Like him or not, he is our president, and deserves the respect of at least the position he holds, just as Bush did and Clinton, Bush, and Reagan before them.
America needs to grow up and find the common thread that will allow us to forge ahead through the toughest times the living has seen. Without that common thread, we are all doomed to fail, both individually and as a nation.

C.E.C.

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Molotov Cocktail

Posted in Bailout, Dumbass, oil, rant, Stimulus Plan, Tax by Chop on 24 February 2009

A recent article from a Berkeley, California genius claims that the United States should act now on the impending oil crisis of the future, raising gas prices to an across the board minimum of at least $4 per gallon to help wean us from the dependency on oil. If the fair market price of oil was for arguments sake $1.50 per gallon, then the government would pocket $2.50 to store away into a slush fund to pay for mass transit projects, stimulus packages, and bailed out mortgage company parties hosted by Nickelback.
“Consumers will gripe, but they’ll soon find solace in the reliable, affordable buses and trains they’ll ride when gas prices soar beyond reach. For low-income individuals who would truly suffer as a result of such a policy, a payroll tax offset or refundable tax credit can ease the burden,” the article states to sooth our fear of having to sit next to some serial killer on the subway.
Hey college grad genius, I am not in the low-income bracket, and seriously felt the pinch of nearly $4 per gallon of gas when the oil companies were sticking it up my family’s tailpipe. But because I slave for a six figure income, I will not be eligible for a tax offset to ease my pain.
I am tired of carrying the less fortunate with my tax dollars, which by the way keep getting increased on what seems like an hourly basis now. I struggled through high school, struggled through my early 20’s, and worked my nuts off to get to where I am at, with every other individual having either the same chances if not better to get to where I am at, and have to sit back and carry them to financial independence, all the while allowing you the severely over-educated to impose domestic working man tariffs so that you can move closer to your political goals of oil independence or toilet paper independence.
Well, here it is. I, the working man of the United States, say stick the minimum gas price and meter in my car tax for every mile driven and whatever else you want to stick my paycheck tax and shove it up your tailpipe. Just when we see some light at the end of the tunnel, you go and turn it off, just to turn it on when we are down and out, and when we have hope again, you turn it off. The extra $400 in my pocket to help stimulate the economy will buy me about five tanks of gas, helping only the already rich oil companies and distributors. If that kind of education is what a college degree gets you, I want no part of it.

A.E.

I Miss Louie

Is this what the news has come to? Are we at this point in our nation that the death of a cat is front page news?
Obviously so, as the death of the Clinton’s house cat is one of the top stories by the Associated Press. Not to take anything away from the importance of a good pet (as I have two dogs and my webmaster), but how is this front page material?
My beef with this is that much goes on in the world around us; deaths of soldiers, wars, skirmishes, hunger, starvation, deaths by beheading, and this is what pops up on Yahoo today. World news, what is meant to reflect the big stories going on, and I get a picture of a tuxedo cat that just spent his ninth life, as well as an entire story to go with it. DI has put together a few other insignificant stories around the globe during the mourning process of a feline.

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba – an official Pentagon report states that the prison meets the standard of humane treatment in the eyes of the Geneva Conventions, but cites many changes that need to take place. Hard core, dangerous criminals should be allowed to meet with the rest of the population, and have the privilege of additional recreational time. Prisoners also do not have dry cleaning services, mint on the pillow every morning services, or a hot cloth to wash their face after every meal.

Major League Baseball – it died, again, hopefully this time for good.

North Korea – plans to test fire an intermediate range ballistic missile in the next few months, despite a visit to the region by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, stating on other issues that she vowed “not to let human rights concerns hinder cooperation with China.”

Iraq War – leaders of the battlefield personnel want to push out the timetable for a troop withdrawal, while the politicians are still pushing for an immediate removal of the troops

George Mason University – picked a drag queen as the homecoming queen

Bailout – the population is now growing angry about the massive bailout, and the massive bailouts that have happened, and the massive bailouts that are yet to come, as homeowners that are struggling to keep up on their bills are now wondering why they didn’t just fall behind and not worry about it?

Israel – two more rockets were fired from southern Lebanon, injuring at least one

Obama Presidency – polls show that approval ratings for the new President are slipping, and articles gave us two to three sentences to explain why.

American Economy – it’s still tanking.

Yet, with all that is going on around us, we have to hear or read about the loss of the former “first cat.”
Thinking of this on a vehicle ride, I remembered my beagle that I grew up with. Louie, short for Louisiana, was a beautiful specimen, and one of the best friends a young boy could ever have. She was so protective of me and the rest of the family that she would somehow run away with any new dog we brought home, and amazingly find her way back home, alone. We lost several puppies, but always seemed to lure Louie back home with a single piece of cheese or bologna. She outlived her years, passing on my homecoming night junior year in high school at the ripe old age of 18 (126 in dog years). The Associated Press never showed up at my doorstep to write an article about that day, as they were most likely busy reporting more important things like the Serbian invasion of Bosnia, the Sri Lankan civil war, or the establishment of the European Union. I, however, didn’t care about any of that, because I had lost my friend; it just wasn’t news for the rest of the world.

Wake Up America

Posted in Democrat, Dumbass, Health, IRS, Mainstream Media, Media, Politician, rant, Stimulus Plan, Tax, Welfare by Chop on 16 February 2009

Wake up America.
Death threats, angry e-mails, and nasty letters have been sent to the new mother of octuplets, as the state may have to foot either most or all of the bills from the birth and care of the eight premature babies, a total that could run close to $1.3 million and change. Taxpayers are irate at the fact that they may have to reach into their pocketbooks to assist for the mounting health care costs. The taxpayer’s main concern: Nadya Suleman is unemployed, and was already the mother of six, three of which receive monthly disability checks from the government. She paid for in vitro fertilization, which enabled her to bear eight children at once, most of the financial backing coming from an on the job injury claim she states. The question that I ask is this; what sets her apart from the rest of the nation that utilize government funding to pay the bills other than the amount of children she has?
She receives food stamps, and will get a raise thanks to the new Stimulus plan passed by Congress. So will everyone else on welfare or government assisted funding, so I ask again what makes her stand out from the rest? DI’s answer, simply nothing.
It may very well be the history leading up to the birth of her eight new babies, or it’s the ever sinking economy that has ruffled the feathers of the taxpayer in the Golden State of California. What ever the case, the fact is that the taxpayer has been footing the bills of millions just like Ms. Suleman for the past three plus decades.
The newly revised Stimulus plan aids situations just like this, as people who currently receive food stamps, some 30 million currently, will get more, people receiving social supplementary income, will get a one time stimulus injection of $250 each, while cash depleted states will get massive injections to continue funding such programs as Medicaid.
Suleman is not alone; she is no different than a majority of individuals that walk to the mailbox to receive a monthly stimulus check to pay the bills. There is nothing that sets her apart from millions upon millions of others across our country, so leave her alone.
If you want to do something about her situation, attack the system. Vote for politicians that oppose systems and programs that you only know of now because you have lifted your blinders. You voted for this, or the mass around you did, now get out and pound the streets to change it. Change is not just a word, it’s an action as in the act of doing something, and with the power of the vote people can begin to see that action. If you don’t like how your politicians are running your small world, then work to get them voted out.
The answer is not to threaten the lives of people like Ms. Suleman; the answer is to change the system that they benefit from. As in several of my earlier articles, if someone really desperately needs the help, then by all means let’s help them. My only issue is when some 26 year old strapping man walks to the mailbox to collect his $625 a month plus his now $250 one time stimulus check and he has yet to try and find a job or pay taxes. I, however, have not sent death threats to that man, but voted to put in office politicians that agreed with my beliefs in welfare and government assistance.
America, wake up and figure out what is going on around you. It should not take a recession near depression to find out that this is going on, albeit not to the scale of Ms. Suleman, but compounded 30 million or so times over. It should not take the over exposure from the media, in this particular case, to show you what the government funds on a monthly basis. Do the research for yourself; the information is free in most cases. Do what you need to do to fix the world that surrounds you, but do it with pride and dignity, not only for yourself, but those around you.
“If we open a quarrel between the past and present, we shall find that we have lost the future,” Winston Churchill. We can only move forward from today with all the tools that are available to us. If you don’t like how your government is acting, say something, do something, but not to Ms. Suleman, because she is doing exactly what the government is allowing her to do.

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You’ve had a Good Run

Posted in Asia, Comedy, death, Dumbass, Hollywood, Movies, rant, Series, Sport, TV by Chop on 9 February 2009

I was performing a little channel surfing last night and ran across a day old version of Saturday Night Live, a once great collaboration of skits sporting the likes of Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, Mike Myers, Ben Stiller, Kevin Nealon, Bill Murray, Dana Carvey, Damon Wayans, Jon Lovitz, Robert Downey Jr., Billy Crystal, Jim Belushi, Joe Piscopo, Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, and Gilda Radner (this list could go on indefinitely).
I was able to stomach the first four episodes, along with “I am going to have sex with your wife” game show skit. I learned, about two minutes into the skit, that I no longer cared about what was going on with the actors and actresses, but actually how many of the live audience members were showing their appreciation for the skit with laughter. I could hear clearly, as I personally made no sounds of enjoyment towards the show. There was, however, one or two in the background showing their gratitude, but one did sound like he was choking, possibly on a Polish sausage, and not at all laughing at the skit in front of him. No one was laughing any more; people just sat back, watched the skits, and clapped when they were over. I agreed, as most if not all of the skits did not seem funny anymore, some actually bordered on pissing me off for the simple fact that this show is making money hand over fist and putting out this kind of crap on a weekly basis. This leads me to my question, is there any originality left in this country?
I see skit after skit of the same crap, just giving me different faces and names. I see skits about a game show where the host sleeps with the contestants wife, and that’s the entire plot. Seriously, where is the originality in this? Where is the fire that the likes of Aykroyd and Belushi gave us, where is the coke coming out of my nose kind of laughter that Sandler and Farley gave us?
This industry finds something that works, and then pounds it into the ground as long as they can to squeeze every cent they can until they absolutely have to figure something else out to sell. If you don’t believe me, think of the following.
Friday the 13th, not just birthdays for several of my loved ones, but a horrifying movie in 1980, performing so well at the box office that Hollywood figured they could squeeze just a little more juice from its popularity. Then came Friday the 13th Part 2, Part 3, The Final Chapter, oh wait A New Beginning, low and behold Jason Lives, and he has The New Blood, then Jason Takes on Manhattan, then finally Jason goes to Hell, holy crap a Jason X, and if you weren’t tired of it by now he took on Freddy in Freddy vs. Jason, and now we have to endure yet another Friday the 13th, 2009 style. 12 movies, based off of the same crap, although Hollywood did have to sit down and figure out what town or village to pillage each time.
Yet another example of Hollywood’s creativity is the Rocky sextology, a six shooter starting from the streets of Philadelphia, traveling as far as Siberia to battle the Russian machine that was Ivan Drago, winding up back on the same streets swapping fists with Tommy Gunn, and finally dying out (hopefully) after a gut wrenching tear jerking split decision loss to Mason “The Line” Dixon in Rocky Balboa, the sixth such Rocky movie. Although I admit that I can name all of Rocky’s opponents off the top of my head and have seen all of his fight flicks, it still shows the complete lack of creativity when it comes to newness.
Creativity and originality is what made Hollywood, with the likes of movies such as Cast Away and The Blair Witch Project; the likes of shows such as The Family Guy and American Dad.
I know in my case that I have taken in so much of the influential people in my life, in order to create my own style. It’s all about a creative originality, go out and make your own.

Pimp Hand of Al Swearingin: Global Warming

The question has been one of the most talked about of the last few decades or so. It has been the campaign driver for several failed presidential candidates, as well as an even hotter topic for the creator of the World Wide Web, Mr. Al Gore. For all of you rational people out there, are we really having a Global Warming crisis?
Out and about on a daily basis, I also have the luxury of being able to peruse Mr. Gore’s fantastic voyage that is the World Wide Web, with not much else to do but to fumble around Dumb Information’s brilliant web site. Occasionally though, I do search issues that are near and dear to my own heart, one being the global warming conspiracy. But before all of you tree hugging fruit balls get your pink panties in a wad, check out just a few samples of what is my life.
In a span of less than a year, my deliverance type neighbours have been afflicted with the likes of floods, ice storms, and several Bigfoot sightings. Power cut off because of bone chilling cold winds that make you want to slit your own throat as to not have to deal with the frostbite anymore; power cut off because of flood waters that would even make Noah cringe again. So I ask of you again, DI faithful, is this the ugly face of Global Warming?

I beat the streets for a little while, pondering my next move, perhaps to Tahiti, while gathering information from lifelong residents in hopes of figuring all of this out on my own (I know now that you must know I am a Republican, because the average or above average Dem cant figure out what their name is, much less try and do something themselves). My findings, although not supported by the Guinness Book of World Records, were frightening to say the least.
These kind of natural disasters have happened over the years, but not nearly this close together. What did the near future of my hometown and states have in store for it I contemplated?
I am, (sorry for sounding a little modest), one of the greatest quality control technicians the free world has ever come across. In my line of work, if there is a problem, then there is obviously a root cause. To fix, or repair, or stop, or terminate a problem, you must seek out the root cause.
Now, just for a brief moment, think of Global Warming as a symptom, just a spec of the actual issue at hand. If the problem is for arguments sake the bastard child disease that is AIDS, then Global Warming would be one of the many symptoms such as esophagitis, a nasty but by itself not deadly, inflammation of the lower lining around the esophagus.
Now, think for another moment, if for some god forsaken reason you were infected with AIDS, that the worldwide doctors union (they formed out of absolute necessity because of atrocious work conditions and sub-human pay scales due to socialized medical care) began selling you mounds and mounds of prescription drugs claiming to be the cure for AIDS, but was actually just keeping you from burping up some seriously foul mouth gas.
My point to all of this madness is this; why stick your head up a bull’s ass when you can just take the butchers word for it? The government and Media is continually shoving this down our throats, green this and green that, and scaring us into submission so that us “ditto heads,” us Rushites nation wide, run to the mailbox or corner store to buy the first photovoltaic powered vibrator we come across because batteries just “add to that there Global Warming stuff.”
I don’t mind the government dumping dough into projects that will help out, but what can we really do to prevent something that scientifically happens on a revolving basis? Why pull the wool over the populations eyes so that funding a “eco friendly green project for the democratic senators ex brother-in-laws, mothers, future wives, dogs seller pocketing a cool $14 million to put up three solar panels in his backyard” will go down a little easier?
My question to you (with all of my infinite wisdom I am still having trouble answering) is this. Can we as a human race do anything to stop the ever growing freight train that is Global Warming?
I, as a God fearing man and disciple of his word, can claim that it doesn’t matter, because you “better believe in him or feel his wrath.” On the other hand, as a brainiac science freak, I have to take into account that other planets in our humble solar system have gone through the same things we as humans are currently experiencing, without the ill effects of a vicious can of hair spray.
So, for all of you doomsday, tree hugging, pink panty wearing douchebag’s out there, put your money back in your wallets when it comes to all the crap that the good old government is trying to sell you in regards to the inevitable warming of the Earths crust (unless of course you want to send it to DI to assist in the spread of our own truth and wisdom).
What will happen will happen, that is the answer. There is nothing we can do about it; just sit back, try not to use so many damn CFC’s, drink some beer, and go to church on Sunday mornings. Take it from me, the God fearin’ science lovin’ gun totin’ badass, which by the way; I am freezin’ my ass off thanks to this Global Warming crap, good call Al.
Until next time, believe in God, have a good time, and make sure you have plenty of ammo.

This is Al Swearingin signing off.

Confessions of a Bus Driver: Panhandlers

There’s a town south of here that has banned panhandlers…

BRAVO!!!…

I tip my hat to the law makers of that town. I wish the lawmakers of my city had the cajones!!!… Ya can’t sling a dead cat without hittin at least one. They’re everywhere, at the street corners, freeway entrances & exits, even in front of the liquor store. Of course, that makes sense. They don’t have far to go to get that bottle of Thunderbird…

People, Get a clue!!! You’re not helping them out… You’re just supporting their habits!!!

I live near “Freeattle”. It used to be named after a famous Indian chief, but they changed the name because all the “homeless” people that stay here. When I say homeless, I mean bums, drunks & dregs… And few of them are actually from here.

A while back, a reporter was doing an article on one of the “tent cities” around. She interviewed several “tenants”. Not one person was from here!!! Why is that, you might ask. Certainly, not because all natives are the hard-working, salt-of-the-earth type. There are good people here, but there are a lot of enablers.

Freeattle is known nationwide as a city where you can move here, with no job, nor any desire to get one, and the people will feed & clothe you & find you a place to stay.

Now I understand that people get down on their luck. I have no problem whatsoever helping someone help themselves. I do have a problem with people, with their hand out, saying,”gimme, gimme, you owe me!!” Hussein’s idea of “share the wealth” is nothing new. Bum’s have been expectin’ that for years!!

I got a bum on my bus the other day that just walked by the fare box. Of course, I told him to pay the fare or take the “shoe leather express.” He belly-ached & finally threw 50 cents in the fare box.

Now, BusCo is another enabler. If you ask, they will give you a discount card so you don’t have to pay the full fare. And they will not back drivers in fare disputes!!!!!

Anyway, I ask this waste of good oxygen if he has a discount card. He replies that he left it back at the tent, but he’s disabled.

Here’s a news flash for ya slick!! Bein a bum is not a disability, it’s a character flaw!! I let him ride for about 3 blocks before I booted his sorry ass off for harassin the other passengers.

There’s a reason they don’t let bus drivers carry guns… Within a week, we’d all be in jail, planning our strategy to show justifiable homicide…

I have a relative that, back in the day, used to play this game with his buddies called “BOWLING FOR BUMS”. They would drive down the road & if they saw a panhandler, they would speed up to 35 or 40 mph, roll down the window, toss out a can of pork’n’beans & try to “connect” with the panhandler. I don’t know why it never made the game show circuit.

Well, gotta go. I’m waitin for my Hussein Obama collector’s plate to come in. Got my Hussein calendar, complete with balloon captions, for my birthday… Next, I’ll get the Hussein inauguration video for $19.95.

Am I like the only one that thinks the presidency is for sale??

-Ralph