Dumb Information

Dukes of DI

Posted in diet, Dumbass, Mainstream Media, Movies, Music, sexy by Chop on 4 February 2009

Jessica, keep doing what you are doing. Do not ever give in to the media. Take everything that all these washed up journalists say with a grain of salt, because it doesn’t matter much.

BBW has been for the last half century a cuss word when reported by the media, as evidence in Jessica Simpson’s recent few extra pounds. DI has a different look at this ever important phenomenon.

Keep it up, because in the famous words of Anthony Ray a.k.a. Sir Mix-a-Lot of kickass songs, “To the beanpole dames in the magazines, you ain’t it miss thing, Give me a sista, I can’t resist her, Red beans and rice didn’t miss her.”

The media has exploited the fact that Simpson has put a few back, but by no means looks bad. It just gives them something else to write about; knowing that the media rabid fan base is fixed on the “beanpole Cosmo” side of entertainment as Mix-a-Lot of badass rhymes so eloquently put it.

Why is this an issue at all? Why is gaining a few extra pounds become front page news?

The answer is fairly simple. The media has put models, runway walking stick figures, on the cover of every billboard, magazine, or bus side in the country. Skinny sells, and cellulite doesn’t.

I am not saying by any stretch that being 680 pounds is sexy or healthy, but being a few pounds on the tippy side does nothing but add a little character.

It should be about what is a happy and healthy medium, whether it is a few pounds or a few inches extra on the beltline.

If I personally were to follow what dieticians told me was the right plan, I would have to lose 80 pounds, but I do not appear very overweight at all. Losing that much would require the amputation of several appendages along with my massive melon head, just to be norm in the eyes of the rest of the world.

*Side Note* Porkchop here, his head really is the size of a world, we often wonder amongst ourselves why there aren’t moons in orbit around it *End Side Note*

So, for all of you, especially you Jessica “god I would love to see you in some Daisy Dukes with that little added junk in the trunk right now” Simpson, keep it up at a healthy and happy pace.

We here at DI don’t mind a bit.

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