Dumb Information

Put a Sock in it America

I am sick and tired of hearing all the problems with Obama, Bush, the Democrats, the Republicans, and any other politician that has walked the hallowed grounds of this nation. Mud is flying at a phenomenal rate in regards to the new Obama four year term, just as it flew during an eight year Bush stint at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Die hard elephants are attacking Obama on everything from the stimulus package to leaving the seat down while urinating, and most completely lock their thought patterns up when debates start in respect to how his presidency has started.
Die hard jackasses are still attacking Bush and Cheney for their eight year tenure in the White House, and when ideas are exchanged about why they did some of the things that they did, they lock up all thought processes quicker than a bowel movement after eating spicy curry with coffee on a hot summer day.
Republicans secretly despise Democrats, and Democrats loathe Republicans behind closed doors. This has gone on since the dawn of democracy in America, since the split of all parties, and since men were given the ability to think for themselves with a little assistance from the mass media.
Backyard barbecues and middle of the day water cooler discussions have created fight after fight on whose party has the best and smartest candidate, and whose party is the savior of the country.
Now, after the force feeding of the nearly $1 Trillion stimulus package, Obama and his followers are working on yet another stimulus package to try and inject some sort of life into this breathless country. Every under the radar website and media outlet is slamming him for his super duper top secret spending plans, and throwing him under any and every bus they see because he is doing exactly what he said he would before he was elected.
I pounded the pavement to get the first hand taste in the mouths of the masses, with astounding results.
“Honestly, I am tired of listening to all the crap about all of this. I don’t even want to turn on T.V. or the internet for fear of seeing something else negative about America,” stated one individual. (All names have been omitted to protect the innocent and weak)
“Obama has yet to show me he knows how to run a country. He has slammed through a huge stimulus package without letting the public see what was in it,” claimed another bystander very eager to voice his distaste with the newly elected President.
“He closed Gitmo without even looking at who was in it, where are all of those criminals going to go now,” asked yet another.
“He is the savior of the country, he will do things to help us all,” claimed another, but when asked what things, could not come up with any.
Before I go into my views on this controversial subject, let’s look at the facts.
Obama stated in his campaign that he would push through a massive stimulus package after taking oath; he did.
Obama promised to close Guantanamo Bay, Cuba while beating the trail for President; he has.
He has moved swiftly to try and solve the nations most critical issues, love him or hate him, those are facts.
Some staunch Republicans are now claiming issues with his character, but can not come up with any concrete evidence of wrongdoing yet. Researching the true meaning of character, I found that Wikipedia states “attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits.”
Here are my thoughts reader, love them or hate them.
Obama has done what he said he would during his campaign, whether or not we like it. His massive spending package is the largest of all time, but took even larger balls and intestinal fortitude to make it happen. I don’t personally agree with some of the inserts of the package, but it’s not my country, it’s our country.
He has ordered the closure of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, just like he said he would. Prisoners are being released either due to lack of hard evidence or no evidence of wrong doing at all, which is something that is backed in our U.S. Constitution, words that are thrown around only out of convenience to the situation at hand. No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law, as stated in the law of the land. Hardened criminals in Gitmo that have lengthy lists of wrongdoings will be transferred somewhere else, not given a pardon. It’s a change in venue for those who need to stay behind bars, that’s it; but because Obama declared it, it’s a problem.
Because Bush started it at Gitmo, it was a problem. The Donkeys hated Bush with everything they had, so no matter what decision he made, it was the wrong one. The Elephants hate Obama with everything they have, so every decision he makes will be the wrong one.
Hatred is a disease, and that disease has spread faster than the likes of AIDS and cancer combined. It is a highly contagious disease, and affects human brain functions. It allows people to judge others based on such things as skin color, what kind of clothes they wear, and what they eat for breakfast. Hatred is a disease that could wipe out mankind, due to differences that are very minute when it comes to importance based on what is going on around us. We can agree to disagree on every issue in the world, but must find a common thread that will allow us to continue as a civilized planet.
I don’t agree with most of the things that Obama is trying, but at least he is trying something. He is not sitting back and hoping for the best, he is attacking to try and fix a half century of wrong that we have done to ourselves. He has the courage to bet his second term on the stimulus that he pushed for, which shows as much for character as anything else; intestinal fortitude, strength, courage, honesty. Like him or not, he is our president, and deserves the respect of at least the position he holds, just as Bush did and Clinton, Bush, and Reagan before them.
America needs to grow up and find the common thread that will allow us to forge ahead through the toughest times the living has seen. Without that common thread, we are all doomed to fail, both individually and as a nation.

C.E.C.

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I Miss Louie

Is this what the news has come to? Are we at this point in our nation that the death of a cat is front page news?
Obviously so, as the death of the Clinton’s house cat is one of the top stories by the Associated Press. Not to take anything away from the importance of a good pet (as I have two dogs and my webmaster), but how is this front page material?
My beef with this is that much goes on in the world around us; deaths of soldiers, wars, skirmishes, hunger, starvation, deaths by beheading, and this is what pops up on Yahoo today. World news, what is meant to reflect the big stories going on, and I get a picture of a tuxedo cat that just spent his ninth life, as well as an entire story to go with it. DI has put together a few other insignificant stories around the globe during the mourning process of a feline.

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba – an official Pentagon report states that the prison meets the standard of humane treatment in the eyes of the Geneva Conventions, but cites many changes that need to take place. Hard core, dangerous criminals should be allowed to meet with the rest of the population, and have the privilege of additional recreational time. Prisoners also do not have dry cleaning services, mint on the pillow every morning services, or a hot cloth to wash their face after every meal.

Major League Baseball – it died, again, hopefully this time for good.

North Korea – plans to test fire an intermediate range ballistic missile in the next few months, despite a visit to the region by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, stating on other issues that she vowed “not to let human rights concerns hinder cooperation with China.”

Iraq War – leaders of the battlefield personnel want to push out the timetable for a troop withdrawal, while the politicians are still pushing for an immediate removal of the troops

George Mason University – picked a drag queen as the homecoming queen

Bailout – the population is now growing angry about the massive bailout, and the massive bailouts that have happened, and the massive bailouts that are yet to come, as homeowners that are struggling to keep up on their bills are now wondering why they didn’t just fall behind and not worry about it?

Israel – two more rockets were fired from southern Lebanon, injuring at least one

Obama Presidency – polls show that approval ratings for the new President are slipping, and articles gave us two to three sentences to explain why.

American Economy – it’s still tanking.

Yet, with all that is going on around us, we have to hear or read about the loss of the former “first cat.”
Thinking of this on a vehicle ride, I remembered my beagle that I grew up with. Louie, short for Louisiana, was a beautiful specimen, and one of the best friends a young boy could ever have. She was so protective of me and the rest of the family that she would somehow run away with any new dog we brought home, and amazingly find her way back home, alone. We lost several puppies, but always seemed to lure Louie back home with a single piece of cheese or bologna. She outlived her years, passing on my homecoming night junior year in high school at the ripe old age of 18 (126 in dog years). The Associated Press never showed up at my doorstep to write an article about that day, as they were most likely busy reporting more important things like the Serbian invasion of Bosnia, the Sri Lankan civil war, or the establishment of the European Union. I, however, didn’t care about any of that, because I had lost my friend; it just wasn’t news for the rest of the world.

Pimp Hand of Al Swearingin: Coke VS. Pepsi

Posted in 2nd Amendment, Advertising, Conspiracy, diet, Drinking, Drugs, guns, Mainstream Media, Media, Obama, TV by Chop on 14 February 2009

How long have we as a human race had to endure ads on the Coke vs. Pepsi controversy? Every time I turn on the radio, or change the channel, or walk out of my bathroom after a nice reading of Money, Popular Science or Mental_Floss magazine, the duel to the death hits me in the face. Since the early ‘70’s (yeah I am that old but still can kick your ass), the media has forced us to swallow this fight without the refreshment of swallowing the product. Pepsi is the greatest, no Coke is the greatest, no wait, it just maybe RC Cola, just kidding, its either Pepsi or Coke, are we clear. I, the Honorable Al Swearingin, aim to end this battle once and for all.
There is no comparison, period, and I am sick of some freak boy with a microphone telling me that there is. For those of you who really take this seriously, I will set the record straight once and for all.
Pepsi’s advertising ploy through the years has been based solely off of preference instead of the facts, the true taste and feeling of slamming back a carbonated can in the middle of a hot summer day. As for myself, I will drink either product, but do however strongly prefer Coke over Pepsi, not because of the taste, but because of the feeling that a Coke gives that no other Cola can, no pun intended. I am sure that most of the nation agrees with me that neither product tastes that bad, but prefer one over the other. Like me, if you are a die hard Pepsi fanatic, if you opened the fridge on a Sunday afternoon looking for a quick swig of a carbonated drink and found only the dreaded Coke, you would pull it out and pop the top quicker than Obama nominations duck and run.
To give it a fighting chance, the PR writers at Pepsi Company have made the ads all about the taste, preference over facts. Hey, I can’t blame them; they learned that tactic from the mainstream media. But facts speak for themselves, facts that show that Coke has had the upper hand since the birth of Christ. Pepsi is all bark and no bite, and Coke has the bite, or sting, or kick in the ass that the rest of the class lacks. Its not about taste, it’s about the sting, as Mohammed Ali said it best, “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” Nothing, except for maybe a viewing of your 401K statement, stings like Coke.
The purity of the feeling of a Coke rolling down the back of your throat on a hot summer day, the freakishly satisfying stinging sensation that it gives you, is truly amazing. No other carbonated product can give you that sensation, putting Coke head and shoulders above the competition. By the way, if any of you Coke advertisement gurus are reading this, and it winds up in some ad in Bakersfield, California, I am coming for my money; why you haven’t realized this as a selling tool is beyond me. Everyone knows it’s about the sting, Coke is gonna sting going down, and for some reason, its all good.
Take it from me, Al Swearingin, if you like the refreshing sting of a carbonated masterpiece, drink Coke. Now it’s settled, so stop advertising on my T.V.
Until next time the God fearin’ science lovin’ gun totin’ badass says believe in God, have a good time, and make sure you have plenty of ammo.