Dumb Information

Planet Earth’s BFF

Posted in Advertising, Dumbass, Mainstream Media, Media, Movies by Chop on 3 March 2009

He is known by a simple picture of his left side and face. Not an athlete, politician, or film star, yet he is popular throughout the world, 231 countries or geographical locations strong. He is Planet Earths BFF (Best Friend Forever).
His name is Tom Anderson, which is about all that most know of him, except for the posted bulletins showing interest in new songs or videos. If you glance over his home page on MySpace, you can see that he has kept it somewhat simple while creating one of the most popular friendship networks the world has ever seen. Most pages are fancy, laid out, and have elaborate color and design schemes, yet his models a starter page for a newbie to the MySpace faction.
His creation has sparked curiosity, imagination, and desire as ordinary people such as me can reach out and find the likes of Mookie Wilson or Bill Goldberg, Stone Cold Steve Austin or George Bush, Sr. We can send a friend request, and anxiously await a response. We can see what Barack Obama is up to, and then thumb through videos of Wrestle Mania on the same website. It is an inevitable avalanche, gaining popularity and steam on what seems like an hourly basis.
From personal experience, I must have felt the void in my life that was left by the likes of missing out on MySpace when I created the Dumb Information site. I began to toy with the front page, and felt the undying urge to browse old friends that I had lost contact with several years ago. I have never been big into rekindling old friendships, as they died for a reason, but could not control MySelf. Page after page, I clicked on pictures of old high school football buddies, old work associates, and occasionally superstars such as the greatest hair band of all time Poison, which by the way is Dumb Information’s friend. Days melted into nights, nights blended into days, and a week went by, forgetting to sleep for the most part and skip meals just to see if someone had accepted my friendship request.
I have now built my friend base up from being a solitary hermit to around 30, with several requests pending. My friend list includes the likes of Poison, Vanilla Ice Ice Baby, the Entire Shreveport Bossier Captains baseball organization, three other bands, a church, and several old running buddies that I haven’t talked to in more than 10 years. All of this is possible, without having to leave the comfort of my reclining office chair, amazing.
His name is Tom Anderson, and he is my friend (along with 258,433,070 others).

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The B-52’s

Posted in Air Force, Asia, death, Drinking, Dumb Information Hall of Fame, guns, Hall of Fame, Men, Military, War by Chop on 9 February 2009

You all must be growing tired of the same old thing, I know. It is hard to watch, or hear, or read the same thing over and over and over without wanting to slit your own wrists just to make the pain go away. Though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same, as Robert Frost so eloquently put it. DI heard your cries, and took action. Our Hall of Fame inductee, although possessing many human characteristics, is not of this world. It was born from the imagination; it was born of steel and bolts, and became the greatest in its class, far outliving the competition, and still remains active to this day.
With absolutely no introduction required, I present to you the B-52, and I am not talking about the “Love Shack” one. The Boeing B-52 Stratofortress, nicknamed BUFF for being big, ugly, fat, with the last F being silent, sort of (feller for all you southern folks). The Strato rolled off of the production line ready for action in 1955, giving the American Air Force a deep offensive jet powered threat unheard of at the time.
General Nathan Twining, Air Force Chief of Staff from 1953 to 1957, said it best as “the long rifle was the great weapon of its day……Today this B-52 is the long rifle of the air age.” General, if you could hear us today in 2009, it would be the exact same thing, as the B-52 is still alive and flying high. The United States Military, over the course of the past century, has made costly purchases that never panned out, but got there monies worth and more with the old faithful Strato.
The B-52, among other things, is a veteran of several foreign conflicts, to include Vietnam and the Gulf War. In February of 1991 in support of the Gulf War, Barksdale AFB in Northwest Louisiana launched a pack of B-52’s which flew a nonstop combat mission, at the time the longest in history, striking targets inside Iraq. 14,000 miles and 35 hours later, the B-52’s touched down safely back at Barksdale. The B-52 holds the current record of the longest combat mission of 16,000 miles, a mission from Guam to Iraq and back to deliver critical blows to Baghdad power stations in support of Operation Desert Strike.
The Stratofortress has also outlived several of its replacements like the XB-70 and the B-1 Lancer. Mission after mission, the Strato’s performance far exceeded the rest of the pack, proving that age is not necessarily a bad thing. It is one of only five aircraft to have to have 50 consecutive years of service, with a projected future until at least 2040, which would give it an astounding 85 years terrorizing the skies of America’s enemies.
Far outclassed and outran by its want to be successors, the B-52’s mission readiness rates have hovered around the 80% mark, showing the B-1 Lancer (53%) and B-2 Spirit (26%) who the true giant of the sky is.
Most Buff’s in the current fleet are twice as old as the pilots who fly them, with the possibility of one day the men and women who call the beast home for hours at a time could affectionately refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa. A true hero and deserving HOF member, welcome aboard aircraft commander of the skies.
And last but not least, the B-52’s popularity across the nation resulted in a the naming of a viciously strong strain of marijuana, a multi layered cocktail shooter including Baileys Irish Cream, as well as the hit rock band B-52’s, being named for the shape of a beehive hairdo resembling the nose cone of the air king.
DI Pride, until next time; do you own research, and form your own opinions.