Dumb Information

Dumb Information Nation Revolution

A recent Huffington Post article reveals a churning in the waters of America, a possible Wingnut Revolution in the making as super rich citizens are irate at the new political situation. Doomsday scenarios explained as to who and how the takeover is spelled out, as what is going on in Washington is not the answer. Huffington Post did not receive the memo, put out world wide April 11th 2008; it’s not the Wingnut Revolution, it’s the Dumb Information Nation.
This time, individuals from all parties will unite in the fight against stupidity and greed, the fight to rid the world of hatred and incompetence; it’s not a one sided bashing whether Republican, Democrat, or Independent. The simple thought process that maybe not benefiting me as an individual, it will benefit the masses that stand before and around me.
We do not have to agree on everything out there, but we do have to live together, and no matter who was behind the collapse of this nation, we are all in it together, win or lose (I for one am in it to win it, no matter who I call my Commander-in-Chief, because after all, if I win it, I win it). The recession is not discriminating while washing over the lower and middle class, it chooses no sides. I am not going to lose sleep or divert focus because the gentlemen down the street believes that all criminals regardless of the offense should die of natural causes; there is bigger and more dire concerns at hand.
Simple yet effective thoughts and ideas will get us through the toughest of times, the KISS method if you will.
Keep It Simple Stupid, because all of you have to agree, sometimes ignorance is bliss

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Pimp Hand of Al Swearingin: Global Warming

The question has been one of the most talked about of the last few decades or so. It has been the campaign driver for several failed presidential candidates, as well as an even hotter topic for the creator of the World Wide Web, Mr. Al Gore. For all of you rational people out there, are we really having a Global Warming crisis?
Out and about on a daily basis, I also have the luxury of being able to peruse Mr. Gore’s fantastic voyage that is the World Wide Web, with not much else to do but to fumble around Dumb Information’s brilliant web site. Occasionally though, I do search issues that are near and dear to my own heart, one being the global warming conspiracy. But before all of you tree hugging fruit balls get your pink panties in a wad, check out just a few samples of what is my life.
In a span of less than a year, my deliverance type neighbours have been afflicted with the likes of floods, ice storms, and several Bigfoot sightings. Power cut off because of bone chilling cold winds that make you want to slit your own throat as to not have to deal with the frostbite anymore; power cut off because of flood waters that would even make Noah cringe again. So I ask of you again, DI faithful, is this the ugly face of Global Warming?

I beat the streets for a little while, pondering my next move, perhaps to Tahiti, while gathering information from lifelong residents in hopes of figuring all of this out on my own (I know now that you must know I am a Republican, because the average or above average Dem cant figure out what their name is, much less try and do something themselves). My findings, although not supported by the Guinness Book of World Records, were frightening to say the least.
These kind of natural disasters have happened over the years, but not nearly this close together. What did the near future of my hometown and states have in store for it I contemplated?
I am, (sorry for sounding a little modest), one of the greatest quality control technicians the free world has ever come across. In my line of work, if there is a problem, then there is obviously a root cause. To fix, or repair, or stop, or terminate a problem, you must seek out the root cause.
Now, just for a brief moment, think of Global Warming as a symptom, just a spec of the actual issue at hand. If the problem is for arguments sake the bastard child disease that is AIDS, then Global Warming would be one of the many symptoms such as esophagitis, a nasty but by itself not deadly, inflammation of the lower lining around the esophagus.
Now, think for another moment, if for some god forsaken reason you were infected with AIDS, that the worldwide doctors union (they formed out of absolute necessity because of atrocious work conditions and sub-human pay scales due to socialized medical care) began selling you mounds and mounds of prescription drugs claiming to be the cure for AIDS, but was actually just keeping you from burping up some seriously foul mouth gas.
My point to all of this madness is this; why stick your head up a bull’s ass when you can just take the butchers word for it? The government and Media is continually shoving this down our throats, green this and green that, and scaring us into submission so that us “ditto heads,” us Rushites nation wide, run to the mailbox or corner store to buy the first photovoltaic powered vibrator we come across because batteries just “add to that there Global Warming stuff.”
I don’t mind the government dumping dough into projects that will help out, but what can we really do to prevent something that scientifically happens on a revolving basis? Why pull the wool over the populations eyes so that funding a “eco friendly green project for the democratic senators ex brother-in-laws, mothers, future wives, dogs seller pocketing a cool $14 million to put up three solar panels in his backyard” will go down a little easier?
My question to you (with all of my infinite wisdom I am still having trouble answering) is this. Can we as a human race do anything to stop the ever growing freight train that is Global Warming?
I, as a God fearing man and disciple of his word, can claim that it doesn’t matter, because you “better believe in him or feel his wrath.” On the other hand, as a brainiac science freak, I have to take into account that other planets in our humble solar system have gone through the same things we as humans are currently experiencing, without the ill effects of a vicious can of hair spray.
So, for all of you doomsday, tree hugging, pink panty wearing douchebag’s out there, put your money back in your wallets when it comes to all the crap that the good old government is trying to sell you in regards to the inevitable warming of the Earths crust (unless of course you want to send it to DI to assist in the spread of our own truth and wisdom).
What will happen will happen, that is the answer. There is nothing we can do about it; just sit back, try not to use so many damn CFC’s, drink some beer, and go to church on Sunday mornings. Take it from me, the God fearin’ science lovin’ gun totin’ badass, which by the way; I am freezin’ my ass off thanks to this Global Warming crap, good call Al.
Until next time, believe in God, have a good time, and make sure you have plenty of ammo.

This is Al Swearingin signing off.

The Land of Opportunity… if You Aren’t Poor

Posted in Democrat, Dumbass, IRS, Mainstream Media, Movies, Obama, Politician, Republican, Stimulus Plan, Tax by Chop on 4 February 2009

Different political party in power, same old outcome; a Democratic stacked Washington D.C. now has taxpayers on the edge of their seats with the price tag on the economic stimulus eclipsing $900 billion. Turns out big corporations profit because of politicians, no matter what party affiliation, after the sinking auto ship earned a possible short lived victory as new car buyers can claim a tax deduction on sales tax and interest paid.
Also nicely and recently tucked into the massive package is nearly $6.5 billion for the politically popular National Institutes on Health, approved by both Democrats and Republicans, showing that both sides can agree on spending taxpayer’s money foolishly in these trying times.
In what is turning out to be a blood fest on Capital Hill, both sides are starting to show what they are made of, to include Democrats trying to sneak in tax breaks for movie producers, and Republicans pushing for a massive tax credit for new home buyers while the economy and job market continue to tank.
Most Americans are deeply concerned that the bill has jumped nearly $100 billion in just under a month, sparking serious controversy, as layoffs and unemployment claims skyrocket at a record pace.
“Nothing seems to be safe anymore, and our elected officials want to give tax credits to wealthy movie producers, what a crying shame,” stated one unhappy Republican bystander.
“I don’t know who to trust anymore, as my party has been telling me that only the GOP is for big business. Now we are going to continue to cave when it comes to the auto giants, I just want to move to Canada,” hollered a most likely once-Democratic faithful nearby.
“Tough times require tough measures, meaning that maybe $900 billion of taxpayer’s money fueling research genetics tests and big corporation’s tax breaks is not the answer. What we need to do as a nation is sit down and think this one out, creating a deep DOD and government work pool based off of weak economy with very little incoming tax money is not a wise choice, what we need is private businesses and corporations fueling the job surge so the taxpayer does not have to foot another bill,” claimed a DI employee sitting on the couch eating Funyuns. “Get rid of the unions, get rid of illegal immigration, start making everyone pay taxes to include government employees, that includes you Tom Daschle, get rid of the free government carpet ride that is an endless supply of checks for producing nothing in return, and stop funding stupid stuff like studies to find what a watermelon does at sun type temperatures, and we as a nation will have a fighting chance.

Then, and only then, will we be able to afford to live in America.”