Dumb Information

DI Mail Call

Posted in Democrat, Dumbass, Mail Call, Mainstream Media, Movies, Music, Politician, PSA by Chop on 5 February 2009

DI Pride, thank you.

Over the past several days, I have received hundreds of e-mails commenting on
my articles, giving me the much needed inspiration to continue.

Below is just a sample of the e-mail frenzy that DI has taken in, I hope you enjoy.

Q.) “I love your articles, please post some pics of you with no shirt on” –
Deb from Seattle

A.) Deb, I would, but the rest of my fans would most likely hurl, thanks for
the thought anyways

Q.) “Your articles are not only informative, but extremely hilarious, keep up
the good work” Gary from Round Rock, TX

A.) Gary, thanks for those beautiful words, and if you think that my articles
are that damn hilarious, then you are just as screwed up as I am, WOW

Q.) “I never knew someone else was into BBW as much as I am, thanks for
writing that one about Jessica. I am going to show my sis and mom, they
will love it” Bobby from Tulsa

A.) Bobby, I knew there were others out there not scared to love on big women.
Keep filtering out the Medias thoughts in regards to what a woman should look
like; after all, I believe it should be up to the woman in the first place.
But please, for the love of god and all that is holy, do not love that way on
your mom and sister. Thanks for the e-mail and support.

Q.) “Thanks for the article on Pelosi, and thanks for that amazing Pic of her
on the front page” Ron from Los Angeles

A.)Ron, that picture was meant to scare the feathers off of a goose,
but whatever. Thanks for the support, but please keep supporting from very far away.

Q.) “Those public service announcements you guys do are awesome, now I do my
bestest to stay away from train tracks” Lew from Mobile, AL

A.) Lew, thanks for checking out our website, but Jesus, if you needed us to
figure out that you are not supposed to play around moving trains, then maybe
you should, but only after you check us out one more time.

Q.) “Although you are good at what you do, you have no clue what you are
talking about when it comes to PETA. We perform daily the activities needed
to ensure that animals worldwide are treated with dignity and respect, and
the lobster you speak of may now, and only now, live a prosperous life
because of our never ending work. Do more research before you blast us
again” Rhonda from Michigan
Big Rhonda, shut the hell up. Seriously, shut the hell up and get to cookin’
some squirrel
stew woman. Because of your complete idiocy, I have reduced you to pond scum,
but thanks for visiting our site, and please come back.

***NOTE*** no animals were harmed or killed in the making of this article

Q.) “What pole can’t make tea, love writing,” Raj from India

A.) I don’t know if you are referring to a Pollock not being able to make tea,
or if you love my writing so much that you want to do some pole dancing after
snorting some crystallized herbal tea. Whatever the case, it’s great that
you have tuned into our site from the very mysterious yet beautiful country of
India. Keep tuning in and stay away from all the hungry Bengal tigers.

Q.) “Thanks for supporting your troops, its nice to check out the site in
the suck that is Iraq” Chris from Iraq via Fort Hood, TX

A.) Thank you for supporting our site while supporting our site members while
supporting the rest of the free world. Honestly, I pray to god everyday
thanking him for men and women like you, the true Captain America’s. P.S.
Can you send me one of Saddam’s old pure gold shower valves so I
can post it on E-Bay?

DI will in the future post more comments in regards to the influx of e-mail.

Thanks for the support, until next time.

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Confessions of a Bus Driver: Panhandlers

There’s a town south of here that has banned panhandlers…

BRAVO!!!…

I tip my hat to the law makers of that town. I wish the lawmakers of my city had the cajones!!!… Ya can’t sling a dead cat without hittin at least one. They’re everywhere, at the street corners, freeway entrances & exits, even in front of the liquor store. Of course, that makes sense. They don’t have far to go to get that bottle of Thunderbird…

People, Get a clue!!! You’re not helping them out… You’re just supporting their habits!!!

I live near “Freeattle”. It used to be named after a famous Indian chief, but they changed the name because all the “homeless” people that stay here. When I say homeless, I mean bums, drunks & dregs… And few of them are actually from here.

A while back, a reporter was doing an article on one of the “tent cities” around. She interviewed several “tenants”. Not one person was from here!!! Why is that, you might ask. Certainly, not because all natives are the hard-working, salt-of-the-earth type. There are good people here, but there are a lot of enablers.

Freeattle is known nationwide as a city where you can move here, with no job, nor any desire to get one, and the people will feed & clothe you & find you a place to stay.

Now I understand that people get down on their luck. I have no problem whatsoever helping someone help themselves. I do have a problem with people, with their hand out, saying,”gimme, gimme, you owe me!!” Hussein’s idea of “share the wealth” is nothing new. Bum’s have been expectin’ that for years!!

I got a bum on my bus the other day that just walked by the fare box. Of course, I told him to pay the fare or take the “shoe leather express.” He belly-ached & finally threw 50 cents in the fare box.

Now, BusCo is another enabler. If you ask, they will give you a discount card so you don’t have to pay the full fare. And they will not back drivers in fare disputes!!!!!

Anyway, I ask this waste of good oxygen if he has a discount card. He replies that he left it back at the tent, but he’s disabled.

Here’s a news flash for ya slick!! Bein a bum is not a disability, it’s a character flaw!! I let him ride for about 3 blocks before I booted his sorry ass off for harassin the other passengers.

There’s a reason they don’t let bus drivers carry guns… Within a week, we’d all be in jail, planning our strategy to show justifiable homicide…

I have a relative that, back in the day, used to play this game with his buddies called “BOWLING FOR BUMS”. They would drive down the road & if they saw a panhandler, they would speed up to 35 or 40 mph, roll down the window, toss out a can of pork’n’beans & try to “connect” with the panhandler. I don’t know why it never made the game show circuit.

Well, gotta go. I’m waitin for my Hussein Obama collector’s plate to come in. Got my Hussein calendar, complete with balloon captions, for my birthday… Next, I’ll get the Hussein inauguration video for $19.95.

Am I like the only one that thinks the presidency is for sale??

-Ralph