Dumb Information

Dumb Information Nation Revolution

A recent Huffington Post article reveals a churning in the waters of America, a possible Wingnut Revolution in the making as super rich citizens are irate at the new political situation. Doomsday scenarios explained as to who and how the takeover is spelled out, as what is going on in Washington is not the answer. Huffington Post did not receive the memo, put out world wide April 11th 2008; it’s not the Wingnut Revolution, it’s the Dumb Information Nation.
This time, individuals from all parties will unite in the fight against stupidity and greed, the fight to rid the world of hatred and incompetence; it’s not a one sided bashing whether Republican, Democrat, or Independent. The simple thought process that maybe not benefiting me as an individual, it will benefit the masses that stand before and around me.
We do not have to agree on everything out there, but we do have to live together, and no matter who was behind the collapse of this nation, we are all in it together, win or lose (I for one am in it to win it, no matter who I call my Commander-in-Chief, because after all, if I win it, I win it). The recession is not discriminating while washing over the lower and middle class, it chooses no sides. I am not going to lose sleep or divert focus because the gentlemen down the street believes that all criminals regardless of the offense should die of natural causes; there is bigger and more dire concerns at hand.
Simple yet effective thoughts and ideas will get us through the toughest of times, the KISS method if you will.
Keep It Simple Stupid, because all of you have to agree, sometimes ignorance is bliss

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Wake Up America

Posted in Democrat, Dumbass, Health, IRS, Mainstream Media, Media, Politician, rant, Stimulus Plan, Tax, Welfare by Chop on 16 February 2009

Wake up America.
Death threats, angry e-mails, and nasty letters have been sent to the new mother of octuplets, as the state may have to foot either most or all of the bills from the birth and care of the eight premature babies, a total that could run close to $1.3 million and change. Taxpayers are irate at the fact that they may have to reach into their pocketbooks to assist for the mounting health care costs. The taxpayer’s main concern: Nadya Suleman is unemployed, and was already the mother of six, three of which receive monthly disability checks from the government. She paid for in vitro fertilization, which enabled her to bear eight children at once, most of the financial backing coming from an on the job injury claim she states. The question that I ask is this; what sets her apart from the rest of the nation that utilize government funding to pay the bills other than the amount of children she has?
She receives food stamps, and will get a raise thanks to the new Stimulus plan passed by Congress. So will everyone else on welfare or government assisted funding, so I ask again what makes her stand out from the rest? DI’s answer, simply nothing.
It may very well be the history leading up to the birth of her eight new babies, or it’s the ever sinking economy that has ruffled the feathers of the taxpayer in the Golden State of California. What ever the case, the fact is that the taxpayer has been footing the bills of millions just like Ms. Suleman for the past three plus decades.
The newly revised Stimulus plan aids situations just like this, as people who currently receive food stamps, some 30 million currently, will get more, people receiving social supplementary income, will get a one time stimulus injection of $250 each, while cash depleted states will get massive injections to continue funding such programs as Medicaid.
Suleman is not alone; she is no different than a majority of individuals that walk to the mailbox to receive a monthly stimulus check to pay the bills. There is nothing that sets her apart from millions upon millions of others across our country, so leave her alone.
If you want to do something about her situation, attack the system. Vote for politicians that oppose systems and programs that you only know of now because you have lifted your blinders. You voted for this, or the mass around you did, now get out and pound the streets to change it. Change is not just a word, it’s an action as in the act of doing something, and with the power of the vote people can begin to see that action. If you don’t like how your politicians are running your small world, then work to get them voted out.
The answer is not to threaten the lives of people like Ms. Suleman; the answer is to change the system that they benefit from. As in several of my earlier articles, if someone really desperately needs the help, then by all means let’s help them. My only issue is when some 26 year old strapping man walks to the mailbox to collect his $625 a month plus his now $250 one time stimulus check and he has yet to try and find a job or pay taxes. I, however, have not sent death threats to that man, but voted to put in office politicians that agreed with my beliefs in welfare and government assistance.
America, wake up and figure out what is going on around you. It should not take a recession near depression to find out that this is going on, albeit not to the scale of Ms. Suleman, but compounded 30 million or so times over. It should not take the over exposure from the media, in this particular case, to show you what the government funds on a monthly basis. Do the research for yourself; the information is free in most cases. Do what you need to do to fix the world that surrounds you, but do it with pride and dignity, not only for yourself, but those around you.
“If we open a quarrel between the past and present, we shall find that we have lost the future,” Winston Churchill. We can only move forward from today with all the tools that are available to us. If you don’t like how your government is acting, say something, do something, but not to Ms. Suleman, because she is doing exactly what the government is allowing her to do.

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DI Mail Call

Posted in Democrat, Dumbass, Mail Call, Mainstream Media, Movies, Music, Politician, PSA by Chop on 5 February 2009

DI Pride, thank you.

Over the past several days, I have received hundreds of e-mails commenting on
my articles, giving me the much needed inspiration to continue.

Below is just a sample of the e-mail frenzy that DI has taken in, I hope you enjoy.

Q.) “I love your articles, please post some pics of you with no shirt on” –
Deb from Seattle

A.) Deb, I would, but the rest of my fans would most likely hurl, thanks for
the thought anyways

Q.) “Your articles are not only informative, but extremely hilarious, keep up
the good work” Gary from Round Rock, TX

A.) Gary, thanks for those beautiful words, and if you think that my articles
are that damn hilarious, then you are just as screwed up as I am, WOW

Q.) “I never knew someone else was into BBW as much as I am, thanks for
writing that one about Jessica. I am going to show my sis and mom, they
will love it” Bobby from Tulsa

A.) Bobby, I knew there were others out there not scared to love on big women.
Keep filtering out the Medias thoughts in regards to what a woman should look
like; after all, I believe it should be up to the woman in the first place.
But please, for the love of god and all that is holy, do not love that way on
your mom and sister. Thanks for the e-mail and support.

Q.) “Thanks for the article on Pelosi, and thanks for that amazing Pic of her
on the front page” Ron from Los Angeles

A.)Ron, that picture was meant to scare the feathers off of a goose,
but whatever. Thanks for the support, but please keep supporting from very far away.

Q.) “Those public service announcements you guys do are awesome, now I do my
bestest to stay away from train tracks” Lew from Mobile, AL

A.) Lew, thanks for checking out our website, but Jesus, if you needed us to
figure out that you are not supposed to play around moving trains, then maybe
you should, but only after you check us out one more time.

Q.) “Although you are good at what you do, you have no clue what you are
talking about when it comes to PETA. We perform daily the activities needed
to ensure that animals worldwide are treated with dignity and respect, and
the lobster you speak of may now, and only now, live a prosperous life
because of our never ending work. Do more research before you blast us
again” Rhonda from Michigan
Big Rhonda, shut the hell up. Seriously, shut the hell up and get to cookin’
some squirrel
stew woman. Because of your complete idiocy, I have reduced you to pond scum,
but thanks for visiting our site, and please come back.

***NOTE*** no animals were harmed or killed in the making of this article

Q.) “What pole can’t make tea, love writing,” Raj from India

A.) I don’t know if you are referring to a Pollock not being able to make tea,
or if you love my writing so much that you want to do some pole dancing after
snorting some crystallized herbal tea. Whatever the case, it’s great that
you have tuned into our site from the very mysterious yet beautiful country of
India. Keep tuning in and stay away from all the hungry Bengal tigers.

Q.) “Thanks for supporting your troops, its nice to check out the site in
the suck that is Iraq” Chris from Iraq via Fort Hood, TX

A.) Thank you for supporting our site while supporting our site members while
supporting the rest of the free world. Honestly, I pray to god everyday
thanking him for men and women like you, the true Captain America’s. P.S.
Can you send me one of Saddam’s old pure gold shower valves so I
can post it on E-Bay?

DI will in the future post more comments in regards to the influx of e-mail.

Thanks for the support, until next time.

Pimp Hand of Al Swearingin: Global Warming

The question has been one of the most talked about of the last few decades or so. It has been the campaign driver for several failed presidential candidates, as well as an even hotter topic for the creator of the World Wide Web, Mr. Al Gore. For all of you rational people out there, are we really having a Global Warming crisis?
Out and about on a daily basis, I also have the luxury of being able to peruse Mr. Gore’s fantastic voyage that is the World Wide Web, with not much else to do but to fumble around Dumb Information’s brilliant web site. Occasionally though, I do search issues that are near and dear to my own heart, one being the global warming conspiracy. But before all of you tree hugging fruit balls get your pink panties in a wad, check out just a few samples of what is my life.
In a span of less than a year, my deliverance type neighbours have been afflicted with the likes of floods, ice storms, and several Bigfoot sightings. Power cut off because of bone chilling cold winds that make you want to slit your own throat as to not have to deal with the frostbite anymore; power cut off because of flood waters that would even make Noah cringe again. So I ask of you again, DI faithful, is this the ugly face of Global Warming?

I beat the streets for a little while, pondering my next move, perhaps to Tahiti, while gathering information from lifelong residents in hopes of figuring all of this out on my own (I know now that you must know I am a Republican, because the average or above average Dem cant figure out what their name is, much less try and do something themselves). My findings, although not supported by the Guinness Book of World Records, were frightening to say the least.
These kind of natural disasters have happened over the years, but not nearly this close together. What did the near future of my hometown and states have in store for it I contemplated?
I am, (sorry for sounding a little modest), one of the greatest quality control technicians the free world has ever come across. In my line of work, if there is a problem, then there is obviously a root cause. To fix, or repair, or stop, or terminate a problem, you must seek out the root cause.
Now, just for a brief moment, think of Global Warming as a symptom, just a spec of the actual issue at hand. If the problem is for arguments sake the bastard child disease that is AIDS, then Global Warming would be one of the many symptoms such as esophagitis, a nasty but by itself not deadly, inflammation of the lower lining around the esophagus.
Now, think for another moment, if for some god forsaken reason you were infected with AIDS, that the worldwide doctors union (they formed out of absolute necessity because of atrocious work conditions and sub-human pay scales due to socialized medical care) began selling you mounds and mounds of prescription drugs claiming to be the cure for AIDS, but was actually just keeping you from burping up some seriously foul mouth gas.
My point to all of this madness is this; why stick your head up a bull’s ass when you can just take the butchers word for it? The government and Media is continually shoving this down our throats, green this and green that, and scaring us into submission so that us “ditto heads,” us Rushites nation wide, run to the mailbox or corner store to buy the first photovoltaic powered vibrator we come across because batteries just “add to that there Global Warming stuff.”
I don’t mind the government dumping dough into projects that will help out, but what can we really do to prevent something that scientifically happens on a revolving basis? Why pull the wool over the populations eyes so that funding a “eco friendly green project for the democratic senators ex brother-in-laws, mothers, future wives, dogs seller pocketing a cool $14 million to put up three solar panels in his backyard” will go down a little easier?
My question to you (with all of my infinite wisdom I am still having trouble answering) is this. Can we as a human race do anything to stop the ever growing freight train that is Global Warming?
I, as a God fearing man and disciple of his word, can claim that it doesn’t matter, because you “better believe in him or feel his wrath.” On the other hand, as a brainiac science freak, I have to take into account that other planets in our humble solar system have gone through the same things we as humans are currently experiencing, without the ill effects of a vicious can of hair spray.
So, for all of you doomsday, tree hugging, pink panty wearing douchebag’s out there, put your money back in your wallets when it comes to all the crap that the good old government is trying to sell you in regards to the inevitable warming of the Earths crust (unless of course you want to send it to DI to assist in the spread of our own truth and wisdom).
What will happen will happen, that is the answer. There is nothing we can do about it; just sit back, try not to use so many damn CFC’s, drink some beer, and go to church on Sunday mornings. Take it from me, the God fearin’ science lovin’ gun totin’ badass, which by the way; I am freezin’ my ass off thanks to this Global Warming crap, good call Al.
Until next time, believe in God, have a good time, and make sure you have plenty of ammo.

This is Al Swearingin signing off.